


talk with your hips (and don't trust me)

by radgeneticswrites



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Angsty in the beginning, F/F, but then it gets really good don't worry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2017-05-24
Packaged: 2018-07-24 05:37:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7495962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radgeneticswrites/pseuds/radgeneticswrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>diverging from s2 canon. a different take on what could have happened when laura and the gang come back to silas university. laura and carmilla have to work out the shambles of their relationship.</p><p>m for later scenes.<br/>the title is based off 3OH!3's don't trust me b/c i am a nerd.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter I

You've made it back to school - you feel as though your life is destined to gravitate back to Silas - but you were naïve to think that everything from that point on would be okay.

It wasn't okay. It definitely wasn't okay. As soon as you landed back at the University all bunched up in your dad's car, assuring him that everything was all right even though you knew it wasn't, she marched into your dorm room, smashed the two beds together, and fell right asleep. It was bright daylight. You closed the curtains, tucked away the little bit of stuff your dad forced you to take back with you (including another bag of bear spray), and left to find the one person you needed to talk to: Danny.

You know that she didn’t leave for the holidays. At least, not for the whole break. Knowing her, she stayed back with her Summer Society girls and formulated a brilliant plan. Danny was all about plans. Or so you thought. You don't really know her anymore. You don't deserve to, after what happened.

You walk into the dining hall and an SS meeting is happening right before your eyes and if that's how they all run, it's _horrifying._ Papers are being flung everywhere, eyes are bloodshot, gazes burning, and there's lots of shouting. So much so that your brain swims, trying to pinpoint the location of the tall redhead, scanning the crowd.

Except for the fact that she's not in the crowd. She's on one of the tables. With a megaphone, her back to you. You smile to yourself. Very typical.

"Hey!" She shouts into the horn, fiddling with the button on the side of the megaphone until it makes an awful screeching sound. Heads whip towards her and the commotion comes to a halt, "Stop!"

"We have a situation here, and all you want to do is argue! Smarten up, ladies, smarten up." There's grumbling here and there as the girls start to agree with Danny and look up at their bright and powerful leader. Your attention's been captured, same as theirs, and you slink into the back of the crowd as she continues, "We have a plan. You know and I know that it's the only way. We're going to flank the Dean's office, in teams like I have outlined for you." She waves around a pink slip of paper in her hand up high, like a flag.

"Everyone got a sheet?" There's rustling, then nods. "Good. So stick to the plan. We'll meet again, at this location," she awkwardly tries to point to a section of her sheet with her megaphone hand, "At midnight. We'll talk details. Tonight. Rat us out and trust me, I'll know." She jabs towards her eyes with two fingers and sticks them back out into the sea of people, rewarded with nervous chuckle here and there.

After a long silence, Danny clicks off the megaphone, tossing it. It lands with a loud _thump._ "We're done."

The crowd splits like the Red Sea, allowing you to rush up to the front of it just as Danny hops from the table. She flips her hair out of her face, plowing forward and almost bumping into you. "Shit, sorry -" She starts. "Laura," she continues, looking you up and down.

"Oh, yeah. Hey." You wave shyly. "I was in the neighborhood-"

You think she mumbles _what the hell_ into your hair because she's pulled you into the tightest, most desperate hug that you've ever been on the receiving end of. You pull a little at her, to get some breathing space. She doesn't let go for a really long time. It feels like a release.

You sigh and she pushes herself away, suddenly all business. "So?" she asks.

"So what? I'm here. What can I do to help?" You clap your hands together and try to find yourself one of those pink papers. Danny holds her copy out for you. You take it. It's been scrawled on overtop of the typed portion in blue ink, highlighting all of the important points. There are diagrams, schedules, but not enough details to tell what it is right from looking at it. It's genius. It's so... _Danny._

She meets your gaze. Her eyes are green and hard, emeralds tearing into you. "What did you find out?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn’t have time to do some Internet research when I was hiking in the trails for so long that I nearly died, and just stayed with my Dad for long enough to come back here when I was certainly under no obligation to, and say hello to you first because wow, maybe I still care a little! I didn’t think that in five seconds after coming in those front doors I was going to be subjected to a full-out interrogation."

You stop. _That's enough,_ you tell yourself. Danny takes a few moments before responding. Sets her jaw. Purses her lips.

And then she hits you. Hard. Across the face with her fist, like she's been practicing. You lean into yourself - you can't help it, you're starting to lose feeling in your cheek, and she clucks her tongue. "You know, I think Carmilla's been rubbing off you just a little too much. I am trying to lead my girls into a battle we're not going to win. The least you can do is find out _something new_ about what's going on instead of making your priority having a vacation and fucking your girlfriend."

She says _fucking_ like it's a forbidden word, like she's rubbing salt into a fresh wound. You can hear her breathing and imagine her face full of tears, but you don't look up. You can't stand to see her - or anyone - hurt because of you.

"You were my last shred of hope. You could have had the decency to let me down slowly. You were my last chance." Her words break and by the time you drag yourself up from the position on your knees, she's gone.

You touch the left side of your face, now sticky with blood. Great. Just great. You're going to ruin a lot of facecloths trying to clean this mess up.

 

xxxxxx

 

Instead of cleaning yourself up, you spend the next six hours in bed. You fall asleep curled into the back of Carmilla, and you wake up alone. The clock says it's nearly 10 p.m. You've 3 missed calls from LaFontaine. You launch yourself upwards and feel like a giant weight's pulling you back down. You feel like death.

You look down and see the pink sheet still crumpled up underneath where you fell asleep. It's stupid, it's _stupid._ But you take it and look at the slightly-smeared ink spread across it. Take a hard look at the diagram Danny pointed at earlier.

 _No,_ you tell yourself. _You still don't know where Carmilla is and Danny hates your guts right now._

You carry yourself into the bathroom and shut the door behind you, even though you know you're alone. You look at your face in the sink mirror. You're in terrible shape.

_Carmilla can take care of herself._

You take a deep breath and trail your index finger down the dried blood that has stained below your nose. Gently, you turn on the tap and collect some water between cupped hands. You raise it up to your face, close your eyes, and splash. You feel stinging spread as you grab a dark cloth and start to wipe.

_You deserve this._

The tears spread before you can stop them from surfacing. You've let everyone down. You aren't there for Carmilla like she needs you to be. That's why she leaves. That's why she leaves for hours at a time, making you worried sick and scarily unable to do anything about it.

_You deserve this._

And Danny, poor Danny - you can't imagine why she would ever want to see you again. You can't imagine how many Summer Society girls will die in the Dean's office. How many of them she'll torture, or if she'll turn one into a vampire to replace Carmilla. God, what is she going to do to Carmilla?

_You deserve this._

The tears make your face sting, you're rubbing far too hard, your skin turning raw and red, and you take another look at yourself. You can't stand to look at yourself in the eyes. You're losing sight of the goal. The goal is to find a way to defeat, _really_ defeat the Dean.

Maybe you can offer yourself up as bait. No, that's a terrible idea. You can't think of anything else. You can't go to the police, because nobody will believe that an ancient vampire is taking sacrifices to be fed to an all-powerful, all-consuming light. That takes "there is always light in the darkness" to a whole new level.

You want to turn to your friends, the only ones you have left. You're sure that right now, LaF and JP and digging deep into some sort of science-based conspiracy while Perry stress-bakes and tries to deal. You don't want to interrupt the flow of thought and/or brownies (or whatever Perr's making this time). Besides, they're probably asleep.

Which leads you to your last, and most desperate, conclusion. You glance down, eyeing the pink sheet to your right once again. You swap it with your cloth and takes a good, long look at the little dots and arrows directing you where to go at 12 a.m., almost two hours away.

The library. The damn library.

You head out. It's dark, and you like the anonymity of the moment. It doesn't matter what you do now. Betty's gone, but you still have a duty to all of those missing girls, and to Carmilla even though she's missing and will likely never speak to you again, and you want to hurt the Dean in every way that you can manage, soon.

xxxxx

 

The library is quiet and awkward when you stumble in. You didn't want to be early to draw attention to yourself, so you tried to psych yourself up in the local campus café, feeling a breath down your neck the entire time because everyone _knows_ it's haunted. So you're about half an hour late, and it seems like the meeting's already over by the time you get there which is _odd._

So you take your journalist curiousity and a notebook that you grabbed last-minute on the way out the door to jot some things down if need be, and ask around. It turns out that there was no meeting after all, but those who are part of the resistance against the Dean are hiding out in the library at night, people taking shifts to watch over those who are sleeping (and you found out, not that you're too interested, that Danny has the privilege of sleeping during the day, so that she can plan all night), so that if the Dean does decide to ambush them, the forces will all be together and ready.

One girl questions why you've found out about their hideout.

"I'm u-uh, a new member of the Summer Society," you offer weakly.

"I didn't see you at the last initiation," she replies, steel on her tongue.

Oh, no. Your cover's totally blown. _Keep it together, Hollis._

"Well, you know, with this whole Dean business, there hasn't been much time for that- and Danny and I were talking about it and well, she just wants to get to know me better in case I'm a mole for the Dean, which I'm _not._ I'm as dedicated as you to fighting her and her minions." It's a weak excuse, but you keep going with it. "I actually got into a fight earlier," you add, gesturing to your face, "I'm not going to give up."

She gives you a strange signal with her hands that must be a branded Summer Soc thing, but you manage to get a grip on it quick enough to repeat it. She beams at you, getting her approval. "Badass," she says.

"I should go find her, then. Danny, I mean." You mumble, pushing yourself away from the conversation and into the crowd.

"Of course. Duty calls."

You can't peel away from her fast enough. But you don't want to look for Danny. You have the bruises to prove that she doesn't feel like talking to you right now. You just want to help, and this hideout thing isn't getting you anywhere. But it’s a library, so you busy yourself for the next couple of hours reading about all kinds of the supernatural. There's not much, but there's enough to know just a little bit more about what might be going on.

You're buzzed on enough hot chocolate to keep you going for a while, and you got a few extra hours of sleep. Your cheek's pain has calmed to a dull ache. None of that helps you when you stumble onto books in different languages that you will never be able to read. It makes you wish that Carmilla was there by your side, but she won't be. She'll never be. There isn't enough hope left in your system to think that she'll come back.

She only left you because she was hurt. She only left you because you can't understand the kind of abuse she's been put through. You can't understand the grip that the Dean has on her. She almost killed Kirsch, to save you, and then you wanted more. You had to ask her to come back to school with you and do more to help take the Dean. She wanted to run, and you wanted her to stay, so she stayed.

But at what cost? She said that she would never love again if she lost you. You said that it didn't matter stacked against doing the right thing. That's the thing that you couldn't agree on.

"I almost _died_ last time I tried to fight my Mother," she said to you in a frail voice, three nights after you finally arrived at your dad's house. You both stood outside on the porch for a "talk".

"And you've let her take innocent girls for the rest of the time! It's your responsibility to stop her." You try not to let your voice raise enough to shout. You want to keep everyone else as far away from this as possible.

"What do you know about responsibility?"

Her intense gaze bores into you and you find yourself boiling with an anger at Carmilla that you didn't know you had.

"When my roommate, my _actual_ roommate, went _missing,_ I didn't stand idly by and wait for her to come back. I started an investigation. And maybe I wasn't very good at it," Carmilla seems to nod at that statement, and you want to rake your nails down her face for some reason, "But I found out a whole lot more than anybody else ever could. But you- you only did it out of necessity, you didn't do it for anyone else other than yourself-"

"I did it for _you."_ she interrupted, fangs protruded, her mouth morphed into a deep-set scowl.

You break your shouting rule. "It's not enough! My life can't be saved at the expense of _who knows_ how many girls you've helped kill!"

You see the lights inside the house flicker on, slicing Carmilla's face down the middle: half light, half dark.

"You have no idea about the consequences I would face if I were to oppose my Mother. I tried to explain it to you, but if you keep refusing to listen to me, I'm done.

There's a fundamental difference between you and I, Laura. You'll do anything for the greater good. I, on the other hand, have lived long enough to know that defeating evil isn't always possible. You are the good. I am, well I don’t know what I am. According to you, I'm just as terrible as my Mother."

"Carmilla-" you wheeze.

"Maybe you're right. Maybe I'm going to turn out just like her. Maybe I already have."

You stretch out your arm to touch her, but she's already used her vampire speed to dash away. You turn around and see LaFontaine and Perry's worried looks as when you see them hanging by the door frame. LaF gives you a small, sad smile. You push past them without a word.

Carmilla didn't come back until the day that you had to travel home and she smelled like fresh blood, a little still left around the edges of her mouth. You wanted to speak to her on the ride home, wanted to try and give her gentle touches, but she pressed her body weight fully onto the inside wall of the car, trying to get as far away as possible from you in the tight space. You were nowhere near her in the passenger's seat and had no intention of hurting her.

You knew that she had made mistakes in the past. So have you. So has everyone. so why judge her for that? But you couldn't shake off the feeling that if you were any other girl, she would have slowed her mother down, maybe, but in the end... She would have let you _die._

_And for what? Love?_

You're about to take the turn around the corner of a bookshelf when you hear a door open. The flash of red hair makes you stop in your tracks and dive for cover. You peek between an encyclopedia and a latin textbook to confirm your hunch - it's Danny Lawrence, the girl who whacked you in the face just hours earlier. You poke your nose out, trying to squeeze further in yet act natural, because there's a dark figure walking with her who makes the hairs on the back of your neck prickle.

You squint. It can't be. No. It's Carmilla. What is _she_ doing _here?_ You were under the impression that she wanted nothing to do with fighting the Dean or at least, she didn't want anyone to know. Except Danny, apparently. Why?

Shit, you hope she doesn't see you. You slow your breathing down. Focus. Try to listen in.

Carmilla and Danny take a seat a ways away from where you are, but you don't dare to move closer. They sit across from each other at a small table. She slips Danny a book. Danny's eyebrow arches. They exchange words that you can't hear anything of. It doesn't look pretty, which is understandable. The two of them are unspoken sworn enemies.

_Carmilla is alive!_

Carmilla is alive, Carmilla is alive, Carmillaisalive and seems somewhat okay, minus her deeply set scowl and the laser eyes she's shooting at Danny. Well, that's to be expected. How did she find Danny? And what's that damn book about?

You swallow the urge to storm over towards their table and demand answers. Sure, you may have put out videos throughout the semester of Hell about very risky topics sure to get you in lots of trouble, but you always knew that your following wasn't a very large on. A couple hundred people, maybe. At the maximum.

The real rebellion was taking place within the Summer Society. _God, how could you be so dense?_ You remind yourself as if you had forgotten for even a moment that this was painfully true. _You're one person. You weren't doing anything._

The self-wallowing comes to a stop only when you felt the atmosphere suddenly change between Danny and Carmilla. And by suddenly change, you mean Carmilla’s hand on Danny’s thigh.

You don’t have any supernatural senses of your own, but you aren’t too naïve to know what that means.

The small piece of paper is crumpled in your tight-fisted hand. Smoothing it out, you reroll it into a cone. You don’t need to see right now. You really need to hear.

“You can’t attack the Dean tonight. She knows you’re coming.”

Carmilla’s voice is raspy, like when she was thirsty tied up in your dorm room. Desperate, almost, if Carmilla got desperate.

“We can’t just wait here like sitting ducks.” Danny retorts predictably.

Carmilla scoffs, leaning in. It’s harder to hear now without being able to read lips, too. “She doesn’t know you’re here. Lighten up, Gingerbread.”

In the moonlit room, you can barely see the sheen of Carmilla’s fangs poking out of her mouth, pulled up into her trademark smirk. You gulp. This doesn’t seem much like flirting anymore. This seems like one of the traps she has spent her whole life laying out: vulnerable girls being taken in the night, Danny no different.

“You don’t have to tell your little warrior women to settle down for a while, still.” Shit. Hook, line.

“I think I know a way to pass the time.”

A million thoughts race through your mind as the pair stand. It might be too dark to be sure, but you think you see Carmilla’s ivory fingers slide over Danny’s waist as she guides her out the door.

Sinker.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> laura gets out of the library, reconnects with her friends, and reminisces on a simpler time with carmilla. some kinky-ish smut coming your way in the middle of this chapter, just a head's up.

Your head is racing, filled with the possibilities of what Danny and Carmilla are getting up to right now. Technically, you and Carmilla are still together – in some sense – so in all likelihood, they're just chatting.  

Right?  

Mortal enemies generally don't sneak off together from the library all... cozy like they did, but then again, you and Carmilla were mortal enemies once, too. Light and dark. Justice and vengeance. Polar opposites if you could call two people that.  

But there was something so alluring, so addictive, about the broody raven-haired woman that made you unable to stay away. That stunned you and took you by surprise.  _Love._  You fell in love with her, despite your differences. She anchored you morally and taught you that nothing is objective, as much as your journalist's brain wanted to fight it.  

You love her in a way you've never loved a woman before. Except you haven't said it yet. Not in so many words. You've alluded to it and used it in sentences, hinting, waiting, but it was never the right time. There were too many factors, she wanted to say it at the right time. But there's never a right time.  

Maybe if you told Carmilla that you loved her and how much you loved her she wouldn't be fucking Danny right now.  

It isn't so much Danny that makes your blood boil. You have a great fondness for her, an appreciation, and maybe a lingering crush – but that you know how she must be feeling. The blood that's boiling is from lust. Lust you feel towards Carmilla.  

You want her. You want her so badly that your body aches. She touches you, yes, before retiring to the study to read, or bumps your hip when you pass each other in your father's house's tiny hallways. You curl up to her every night, unreciprocated.  

But you miss the fire, the heat that seared through your lungs, trying to hold onto a kiss for one second longer. Not being able to wait a second longer for Carmilla to take you in a way she knows how to do so well. It's been such a long time, you can hardly remember. Watching her unravel underneath you is thrilling, a power only you have and you revel in it.    
  

xxxxxx  

  
  


It was a Wednesday night the last time that you and Carmilla were... intimate. The night after your fight on the porch, the night after you both said things you don't mean and totally did at the same time. The tension that night created between the two of you was palpable. You'd bumped into each other a couple of times over the course of the day, and that alone made heat course through your legs. 

It was the best makeup sex you'd ever had and you might ever have. 

If you thought you went stargazing before, the stars that Carmilla made you see on the backs of your eyelids that night were much more spectacular. Finally, after a day spent with Perry and LaFontaine talking strategy and well, arguing about strategy, and banter between all parties and her dad – they were alone. In her childhood room, alone. Finally. 

Carmilla's eyes raked down your body and you gulped. "Shouldn't you be getting to the guest room and settled for bed?" You ask.

They hadn't told Papa Hollis about their relationship yet. Everything else was pretty hard for him to take. The vampire thing, the missing-roommate thing, the Dean-is-a-vampire thing, and the pod people thing were enough for him. The secret made you feel dirty though, something you hadn't felt since you were closeted and brought home girlfriends in high school. 

Carmilla chose not to engage with you. She knew you could talk her into anything and oh goodness, you needed to talk her into _not_ fucking you in your childhood room with your dad and friends just feet away. 

"Do you like this dresser?" She asks, gesturing towards the tall white dresser near the front of the room. 

But oh how you wanted her to fuck you. To fuck you ragged. To fuck you raw. 

"Not really. It was cheap and from IKEA. Why?" 

As soon as the word escapes your lips, Carmilla has lifted you from your waist and pinned your back against the dresser, hard. You wrap your legs around her torso, her strength turning you on.  

You look up at her. There's a dark look in her eyes, a hunger that has you ready to go over a cliff for her. 

"Do you like this shirt?" She asks you, and you smirk against her neck. 

"Take it off," you rasp into her and she tears it off, buttons clattering around the room. More flannel where that came from. 

She doesn’t ask you any more questions because her mouth is on your neck, teeth scraping along your pulse point just like you like it. It makes your head rush, wondering if she's going to bite – knowing she's not going to bite. Her tongue and lips work across your neck creating light hickeys.  

Your nails dig into her back. You want more, now. Her mouth lowers to your collarbone, scoring Carmilla extra nail in her back, to which she reacts to. She throws your hands up, pinning them above your head. 

"You. Are. Mine." She says, punctuating her words between kisses on your chest. "And I am going to take you like I want you. Do you understand?" 

You look into her eyes again, gulp, and nod. 

"What do you say to me?" She asks, lowly into your ear. 

"Please, Carmilla." You whine, no self-control left in your body. You shed yourself of that weeks ago. All that's left is need. You need her. 

She kisses you, tongue rolling over yours, fangs teasing at your bottom lip. You moan, and she presses her lips against yours harder. Her fang tears a bit too hard and the pang of blood reaching both your tongues makes you moan even more. 

"You taste fucking amazing, babe," she declares, leaving your lips to move down to your breasts.  

Your nipples perk up as soon as her mouth gets close. She licks and sucks, making eye contact with you occasionally. It drives you up a fucking wall. You want more, need more, crave more. 

"Please." You beg, plead, moving her hand down towards your pants. 

"Please what, babygirl?" 

"Fuck me. _Please._ "  

Carmilla makes a show of pinning your hands back up over your head. "I said I am going to take you like I want you. And I want to taste you." 

She wastes no time yanking down your pants and settling her mouth between your thighs. It takes all your shredded self-control not to scream right there and wake everyone up when her tongue presses across your clit in broad strokes, easing you into it before increasing the pace. 

Instead, your thread your hands through her hair, pulling her closer. 

The amazing thing about your girlfriend being a vampire is her ability to eat you out while standing up, your body still pinned up against the dresser, legs pressed against her back. 

It almost makes you forget about the horrible night you had and all the things you said, which were true. But in this moment, it all melts away and it's just you and Carmilla, falling over a cliff together. 

You cum more times than you can count that night.   
  

  
xxxxxx  

 

    
When you break out of your reverie, you notice that your phone is rumbling in your hand. Glancing at the screen, you discover that not only had you ignored the calls from earlier but had also acquired a staggering amount of voicemail messages.  

Needless to say, you pick up the phone. "Hey LaF, what's up?" You ask casually, trying to wipe your mind clean of the fantasy. Snapping yourself back into reality.  

_Keep it together, Hollis._   

"Where are you? Your door was unlocked and empty. I got worried that something happened to you, you and Carmilla can't just run off on your own when you have a lead, you need us to back you up -" LaFontaine chides over the line.  

"Relax," you cut them off by saying and they huff, annoyed. "I'm fine. Carmilla's... fine. I'll explain later. I'm in the library."   

"What?!? Laura Hollis, that is the stupidest thing you could do right now. We barely got out of there alive last time."  

"Yeah, under different circumstances." You say in a normal volume, then lower your voice. SS girls are everywhere and if you want to keep your cover of not being one of the Dean's informants, you have to be more discreet.  

"Listen, the Summer Society has set up a base down here and I was doing a little recon. I haven't found out too much, but I want to interview some of the girls and ask about their plan." You trail off. What are you doing down here exactly?  

You look around. You're surprised you have cell phone reception down here anyways, and that reminds you of calling Danny in for help last time you were there, which makes your heart pang.  

From through a bookshelf, your eye catches one of a girl who looks like she's been staring at you for a while.  

"Grab whatever you can find about their operation and get your ass back up here. You think you're anonymous in all of this, huh? Who's been plastering her face and telling everyone the news about the Dean?" LaFontaine asks.  

You swear, "Oh shit." You can hear the "well, duh" without them needing to say it.  

Looking back at the bookshelf, you notice that the girl is gone. You've been compromised, mission over.  

"Uh, talk to you soon LaF. I'll get there ASAP."  

"You better." They cut the line before you can get another word in.  

Jetting around the corner of the bookshelf, you beeline towards the door Carmilla and Danny left through.   

_S_ _ave yourself the_ _embarrassment_ _of walking through a group of girls who you failed by going through the doorway and walking in on your ex and soon-to-be ex. Nice going._   

The door's locked. In fact, there is no door. It seems to have sealed itself up after being used.  

Shit. Shitshitshit.  

You hear a voice call behind you. "Excuse me?"   

You wheel around and reach for the bear spray in your back pocket – the travel size can you insisted your dad include for convenience – pointing it at the figure. It was the girl who was watching you before.  

"Whoa, chill, I'm one of the Sisters." She says, hands up and surrendering. "I was wondering if you're the Laura Hollis from the streams."  

You sigh, letting your guard down a bit. "Yes, I am she."  

She extends her hand towards you. "Pleasure to finally meet you."  

Taking her hand, you retort, "Please. It's not like I've been around much lately or really done anything to help at all."  

"Are you kidding me?" She asks. "You're a freaking hero – sorry. Uh... I just mean... We're not supposed to watch your streams, Danny's orders, but I joined the Society pretty late. Normally that's not allowed, but I'm pretty early in my transition and wasn't ready to come out earlier in the year. Plus, they needed all the girls they could get. Sorry, now I'm just rambling..."  

Tucking your bear spray into your back pocket, you chuckle. "No need to apologize."  

"Everything we're doing here," she adds, "is because of you. I don't know why Danny has such a big grudge against you."  

"She has a pretty good reason."   

"I take your word for it." She responds.  

You start thinking about your need to escape, to find LaFontaine and tell them about what you learned, to confront Carmilla... So much to do, so little time. You check your watch. Almost 11 p.m. You need to intercept this play for the Dean.  

If Carmilla hasn't already used her charm to stop it already. You put the thought out of your mind.  

"Hey, uh – what's your name?" You ask.  

"Charlie," she says proudly.  

"Alright, Charlie. Well, see, I'm not supposed to be here – for what seem like obvious reasons now. Can you help me get out here without being seen by any of the other Sisters?"  

She nods furiously and almost knocks herself over rushing to a panel of wall just a few feet away from the two of you. Apparently, the wall will open into a door leading up to the campus dormitories if you whisper some passages from an ancient language to it. Of course.  

You thank her and head out to LaFontaine and Perry's room, ready to spill everything.  

    
  
  
xxxxxx  

  

 

"What happened to your face?" Perry cries, rushing to your side. You've barely stepped inside their dorm room and Perry is already mom-ing you. 

"Laura, darling, you have to put some ice on that or it'll only look worse tomorrow."  

LaFontaine's face shares the same concern, although their arms are folded across their chest from where they're standing across the room. You lock eyes briefly.  

"I'm okay." You assure them both, fighting off Perry's worried hands.  

LaFontaine huffs and Perry sighs in relief. "While I'm not going to ask you where you got that from, I am going to offer some fresh-made brownies. It took me forever to find some cacao powder, but here we are."  

She places a tray of fresh-baked if not somewhat overdone brownies. LaFontaine looks at you like you want to eat the brownies now, so you stuff one into your mouth. You can't think of the last time you ate. Your dorm room is a food desert.  

"Whenever you're ready to talk, we're here." Perry adds, placing a hand on your thigh. You've settled on Perry's bed, plate of brownies pulled up to your chest.  

"Jeez, Perry, she's not made of glass. Where's Carmilla? Did she do this to you?"  

Your mouth gapes at the accusation. "How could you say something like that? Of course not! And I don't know where she is. It's kind of a long story."  

Over brownies and hot chocolate, you explain to your two friends what has been going on. Carmilla sneaking off. Her meeting with Danny in the library. You omit the part about the intimacy you witnessed between the two of them because you don't think it's relevant. Charlie with the Summer Society. And you show them the pink sheet with the plans.  

LaF gets softer with you during your stay. You haven't exactly gotten time to spend together recreationally since everything went to hell, so you can understand their standoffishness. You want to win them back. You want both of them back.  

You want your life back.  

"Everything okay, Hollis?" LaF asks you, and you notice you had been spacing out.   

"As okay as it can be, I guess." You state. You want to believe it.   

"Did you want to stay here for the night?" Perry asks with a tenderness that makes your heart sing. They've been so kind to you, so hospitable and loyal. "You know what they say, there's safety in numbers."  

You respond with a, "No thank you." and add, "I'm going to sleep in my dorm room tonight. I missed it at my dad's. It feels a little like home."  

A home you're going to fight for. Just like Carmilla. You're going to fight for her because you know what you do to her, what you mean to her. Danny can't come between the two of you – that theory has been tested before and proven wrong already. 

"If you need us, we’re just down the hall, Hollis." LaF assures you. 

You give them both chaste hugs before leaving the room, leaving a trail of brownie crumbs behind you. 

   
  


xxxxxx 

 

   
No matter how pissed you get at Carmilla, you always forgive her. She's been hurt so much in her life, it's going to take her a long time to learn how to properly love someone. And, as much as you want to be the one to teach her how to do that, she infuriates you. 

Ghosting like she does and going who-knows-where. Criticizing you and not giving you enough information to make informed decisions. Being too damn hot to be angry at for long. And, the most infuriating trait, always having a reason to do the reckless things she does. 

It's hard to stay mad at her for long. 

So when Carmilla returns home and finds you sitting upright in bed, unable to sleep, she holds you. 

She communicates what you've both been too shy to communicate, _love._ Unconditional love, that crosses the borders between species and the times. The kind of love that is unbelievable, unimaginable. 

So you let her hold you while you sleep because doing anything else just isn't possible right now, in your state of mind. You're too jittery, too restless, too everything all bundled up in one. The time to be pissed at her for leaving you, for sneaking off with Danny like that, for not telling her about the SS and their plans for the Dean, for not including her – will come in the morning. 

For now, you selfishly revel in the warmth Carmilla's arms provide and how, in her embrace, you almost finally feel safe. 

Almost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked! Feel free to chat with me on Tumblr @ radgenetics.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> If you find the grammar mistake in this chapter, let me know. I read over it multiple times, but I can't seem to find the error! It's a whole sentence, if I recall.


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